Depression, delusions, paranoia—these conditions drove Kevin Hines to effort suicide, yet he survived. Today Kevin is on a mission to assist others, starting with a new documentary and a arrangement to develop a gold Gate leg suicide obstacle net
“Jump now,” said the voice in Kevin Hines’s head. “And ns did. I was compelled come die.”
Hines leaped over a rail top top the gold Gate leg in September that 2000 and also began a freefall that would reach 75 miles per hour top top impact. The minute his fingers left the railing, that felt prompt regret.
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“I assumed it was too late, I stated to myself, ‘What have actually I done, i don’t desire to die‘,” claims Hines, currently 38. “I realized ns made the biggest mistake of my life.”
Hines fell about 240 feet in just four seconds. The crashed feet an initial into the waters below, crushing spinal vertebrae and also breaking one ankle. But he survived.
Now, Hines travel the world to speak around suicide prevention and also mental health, telling his story to aid others stay alive.
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Telling His Story
Hines details his story in the new documentary that he produced, Suicide: The Ripple Effect, i beg your pardon opened throughout the United claims in march 2018. The has also authored a memoir, Cracked not Broken, Surviving and also Thriving after a suicide Attempt. Hines’ story is definitely resonating—he has over 18,000 pendant on Twitter.
“My goal is to shot to instill expect in at least one individual,” Hines says, “so the one separation, personal, instance says, ‘Maybe I can stay here, perhaps there space tools come fight this."” Hines help suicidal civilization he has actually met in one-on-one situations—through social media and at his speeches. He has helped save many lives.
One the the stays Hines has actually saved belongs to the husband of Lorena Stephens of Massachusetts. Stephens recently wrote an email to Hines ~ her frequently suicidal husband heard that speak. “My husband has chronic suicidal thoughts and also paranoia similar to Kevin. He never ever thought anyone can relate to him and also has make the efforts to die by suicide number of times in his life. The change in my husband because hearing Kevin speak is nothing quick of a miracle. Kevin gave him hope. Kevin confirmed him the he wasn’t alone,” Stephens says. “It was like God sent out him to us at a time when my husband required it the most.”
The Ripple Effect cites research study that estimates that 115 world will be impacted by a solitary suicide. In the film, there room interviews with world directly influenced by Hines’s self-destruction attempt—his teary father, his sister, and also the coastline guard officer who had actually pulled 57 dead people and also one live man—Hines—from the waters of mountain Francisco bay after jumping.
Since the Fall
The prompt regret of jumping off the golden Gate bridge did not an outcome in prompt mental wellness recovery once Hines survived. He now works daily, and also diligently, come manage ongoing symptoms that can include depression and also hearing voices. He has visited mental hospitals numerous times since his jump. Additionally, Hines take away medication and sees a therapist. That does at the very least 23 minute of vigorous practice each morning, which leader to a better mood. That eats a brain-healthy diet; does everyday lightbox therapy; meditates and also uses music therapy. For an ext information top top his plan, click here.
Most importantly, as soon as depression, psychosis, paranoia, hallucinations, hopelessness or suicidal think return—and they do—Hines reaches out to human being who consist of a close support network the he call his “personal protectors.”
One the Hines’ major personal protectors is his mam of 12 years, Margaret. The pair met 14 years ago during Hines’ third involuntary remain in a psychiatric hospital. Hines says that Margaret theatre a large role in maintaining him holy spirit stable.
When the bad feelings return, Hines says, “I constantly tell someone who loves me and also who cares around me and also who empathizes with me,” that says. “I have one inquiry of people who are right now facing the struggle, that can’t view the irradiate at the finish of the tunnel,” Hines continues, “remember the irradiate is there, the hope is there, you have to discover a means to do it and also find a means to relocate forward until you reach the hope.”
Hines hopes that the film motivates civilization to take fee of their mental health.
“When you can find the capacity to struggle for her wellbeing, you can readjust your outcome,” he says. “As mine father used to call me, nothing good ever came without hard work. That is just one of the things that turned mine life around.”
A fatal Place
Since it was put up in 1937, more than 1700 people are approximated to have jumped off the golden Gate Bridge, and just 25 are recognized to have actually survived, according to Robert Olson the The Centre because that Suicide prevention in Calgary, Canada.
Olson has detailed that the gold Gate is a an especially lethal method of death oneself: while the typical survival rate of leg deaths is 15%, just 4% of civilization who jump from the gold Gate survive.
In the film, Hines highlights a significant mission for which he and also many others are fighting: the go-ahead from politicians for the installation of a safety and security net follow me the bridge to prevent suicides. It looks favor Kevin will realize his mission in the not-too-distant future. According to the mountain Francisco Examiner3, the security net that Hines and others have lobbied so hard much is lastly under construction. Well-known as a self-destruction barrier, the network is set to be perfect in January 2021.
Hines never wants anyone to endure what the did virtually 18 years ago when he take it a bus come the bridge v voices in his head informing him “You have to die, jump now,” the recalls.
“It to be the most horrid, emotional, turmoil even I’ve ever before experienced, and I might not regulate myself.”
As Hines landing after the freefall, he shattered and crushed three vertebrae.
“When ns resurfaced i was do the efforts to continue to be afloat, thinking, ‘I am going to drown.’ as I was bobbing up and also down in the water, i was saying ‘I don’t want to die, God, i made a mistake."”
A sea lion, Hines says, retained pushing him above the water’s surface until the shore Guard rescued him. Physicians surgically repaired Hines’ physical injuries and after four weeks, he entered psychiatric care at St. Francis Hospital in san Francisco, the first of 7 in-patient stays to deal with depression, paranoia, and also hallucinations.
During that very first stay, Hines met a monk who encouraged him to share his story. “The thing that changed my life forever,” he claims of the meeting.
Sharing His Story
About 7 months after ~ the jump, a unconvinced Hines provided his first talk, to 120 seventh and eighth-graders. “I was freaking out,” the says. “I to be a mess.”
Two weeks later, the kids sent the letters. Several of the youngsters told Hines his speak made a difference and that they obtained the help they needed.
“A story helped them decide to be honest around their pain,” states Hines. “When the happened, I stated to mine father, ‘Dad we have to do this, anyway, all over we can.’ This is just how it all started.”
Hines wishes that each time he speak his story, the hope he conveys to the experiencing will permit them to open up up, come realize, ‘I can aid myself today,"” Hines says.
He urges anyone who sees someone suffering and also upset, like he was that day on the golden Gate Bridge, or who they suspect might be having actually suicidal thoughts, to with out.
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This suicidal human “needs come hear what I necessary to hear. That us care around you, your life go matter, and also that all we desire is because that you come stay,” that says. “If someone had looked at me on that leg or on that bus and said the to me, i would have actually begged for help.”
Hines urges anyone struggling now with suicide ideation, before you take the action, to speak to the suicide prevention hotline in ~ 1-800-273-8255.