With the anticipation that the upcoming NFL season finally starting to settle into my bones, I"ve began to carry out my yearly ritual of slaughtering three pigs and also throwing a virgin turn off of mine roof, trying come appease the Football gods so that they may, because that once, display mercy on my Detroit Lions.

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You see, each year most fans of the Detroit Lions tend to prepare because that the season in various ways. Several of them invest nights drinking alone, watching old videos the Barry Sanders top top Youtube as they quietly weep over your laptops. Several of us just sign up for various blogs for various other teams in the NFC North, and also immediately start writing dissertations on blog post boards around topics such together why Jay Cutler is soft, why nobody wants to live in Wisconsin, or just how poetic that was the the roof fell in top top the Metrodome together it was likewise metaphorically falling in ~ above Brett Favre"s dignity.


By the finish of the preseason, we somehow use a type of groupthink to convince ourselves that our preseason record, everything it may be, is indicative of good things come come.

"Most super Bowl teams don"t victory preseason games anyways, therefore we"re simply as great as the Patriots! It"s fact! We"re going come the at sight Bowl, baby!"

"We simply went 4-0 in the preseason! We"re going come Disney World!" (Don"t forget the the year us went 0-16 is also the year that us went 4-0 in the preseason.)


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Usually, through the 3rd week that the season, all hope is dashed across the pavement choose a turned off scene indigenous the movie Children of Men. We then invest the following 12 weeks hibernating, only coming the end of ours man-caves because that a couple of select occasions:

To try to gain Dave Dombrowski fired from the TigersTo react as Michigan State loses to a MAC or C-USA team, ruining any type of run they had at the large 10 ChampionshipTo tell Ohio State fans that they and their whole state sucks

Then the season ends and we clock someone else win the at sight Bowl.

It"s to be that way since the Super bowl was invented.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

I"d love to tell friend that some day that will certainly change, but I"m old enough to understand better. Expecting to view the Lions in the Super bowl is prefer going to the bar, seeing Olivia Wilde, and thinking that all of sudden she desires sweaty fat guys. The suspension of shock is as well great. Also Michael just wouldn"t create that script.

It"s just as well. I number that if the Lions did success the supervisor Bowl, the bulk of our fans would have actually no factor to go on living; they"d hover off into the cornfields choose James Earl Jones in field of Dreams. We cling come this dream with cold, sweaty hands. Any type of honest prediction of the timeline of the night when the Lions success the at sight Bowl would certainly be a lie if that didn"t include openly weeping, beginning a bar fight through anyone who states that Matthew Stafford is a "China doll," and immediately walking right into traffic together we realize that there"s nowhere to go yet down.


And that"s fine. If you yes, really think around it, us Lions pan aren"t unified by ours celebration. We"re united by the ritual, by the shared experience the agony. We all loathe Matt Millen. We still don"t know why Barry left when he did, and we scorn the curse that Bobby roadway while silently wondering if maybe it stop water.

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That"s who we are. It"s what provides us Lions fans.

So, once the Lions falter and also don"t live approximately your expectations this year, don"t fret. Simply rejoice in the experience, since it"s something that most other franchises" fans can"t appreciate. I mean, who desires to it is in a Patriots fan, anyways?

(Note: This post is strictly conjecture, because THIS IS THE YEAR WE success THE at sight BOWL! WOOO! Eh, that am i kidding? view you at the draft.)