After a current GoFundMe plea alerted the people that the actress was in financial straits, she opens up up around her depression, her squandered sitcom fortune and her potential comeback.

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It was in at an early stage July, once she had actually fallen six months behind in rent, the Brett Butler completely came come grips with how dire she circumstances had become.

Facing unavoidable eviction from her Los Angeles apartment, the comedian and actress — who at her career peak throughout the mid-1990s to be making $250,000 per illustration as the star the the abc sitcom Grace Under Fire — confided in among her the next friends, Lon Strickler, a blogger who chronicles real-life mythological encounters. (Butler herself claims to have the ability to communicate with the dead and also once also tried come launch a Crossing Over-style speak show.)


“I called him, ‘I might’ve waited too long to do this, but I to be so screwed ideal now,"” Butler, 63, recounts in her Georgian lilt. “‘I’ve been ashamed. Almost ashamed to death."” claims Strickler: “I determined that it remained in her advantage if ns tried to type a GoFundMe account for her.”


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Butler is no stranger to tough times. When she was discovered doing stand-up in new York City during the mid-1980s, she already had get rid of alcoholism and also an abusive marital relationship — the an outcome of a self-fulfilling bicycle of violence, together her father was an abusive alcoholic, too. Later, the pressures of certification on the hit chuck Lorre sitcom Grace, based upon her own life (except the parenting thing — servant never had actually children), resulted in a Vicodin addiction. (She obtained hooked top top the painkiller after gift prescribed it because that sciatica.) by her own admission, the drug abuse made her an erratic nightmare top top set, leading to co-stars to quit and the show’s abrupt cancellation in its fifth season, after just 14 of a to plan 25 episodes to be shot.

“At the bloody bitter end, ns really was difficult,” servant concedes. “I was out of my mind. Drugs will do that to you. The display should have actually been pulled sooner than it was.”

A couple of years after that, butler fled Hollywood for Georgia, whereby she to buy a bucolic property she’d spotted top top the internet. That, too, finished badly. After failing to keep up v mortgage payments, she literally shed the farm. Contrary to one Entertainment Tonight segment the aired in 2011, however, she never ever lived “in a homeless shelter.” She insists she constantly had a roof over her head and that one ET producer, that paid her for the appearance, fabricated the homelessness detail for ratings. “I have actually no idea why she did that,” claims Butler. “But as soon as that gets out there, it simply goes everywhere.”


She credits Charlie Sheen with conserving her life in 2012. The two had been acquaintances since the Grace Under Fire days. Sheen lobbied hard to gain Butler a component as a cocktail waitress on his sitcom Anger Management — against the producers’ wishes, she suspects. She became on the show for 2 years. “If that wasn’t for Charlie, there’s no method I would have been on that show,” she says. “It literally conserved me.”

Flash front to 2021, however, and also amid the manufacturing slowdown led to by COVID-19, the specter the homelessness was looking to be more and more inevitable.

It took servant a many convincing to send herself come a crowdfunding project — not simply as a matter of pride yet also, she feared, the satisfaction it would give the adversaries she’d made follow me the way. “He talked me into it,” she claims of Strickler’s urging. “The way he put it was, ‘You can’t live your life based on being afraid of what haters will do.’ “

Strickler asked Butler exactly how much she wanted to raise. “And ns said, ‘I don’t recognize — what’s the cutoff line in between needing something and being certain greedy?’ ” They decided on a goal of $15,000. The project raised $12,583 indigenous 246 donors — sufficient to save the wolf at bay because that a tiny longer. Strickler due to the fact that has moved the target as much as $20,000.

“She still requirements a little an ext help,” the says. “She just needs one much more little nudge come get earlier on her feet.”


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In Grace Under Fire with onscreen love interest Dave Thomas.Daniel Watson/ABC/Courtesy Everett Collection.

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In all, servant filmed 112 illustration of Grace Under Fire. She only deserve to remember about 80, though, and also can’t carry herself to watch any kind of of castle — not even the highly rated early seasons, when she to be still sober and at the top of her game. “I shot not to go into yesterday,” she says. “I think the critical time i watched anything i did that was old, it was my very first Tonight Show.”

In that star-making appearance, which aired may 14, 1987, Butler arised not v her familiar blond hair however as a curly-headed brunette. She joked around her “redneck” ex-husband and life as a mrs in the Deep South: “All the us lost our cherished virtue in the earlier of a pickup truck holding on come a total rack looking at a snapshot of a buck feeding the end of a stream.” Johnny Carson asserted the five-minute set “wonderful stuff. … It’s constantly such a thrill see somebody brand-new come out and also be so funny.”

From that point forward, servant — who attended the university of Georgia before dropping the end to emphasis full-time on comedy — to be on TV “once a month,” she says. “I was that novelty — that southerly girl that uses large words.” That same year, she landing a writing gig ~ above Dolly Parton’s ABC range show, which lasted only one season.

Meanwhile, another working-class female comedian was obtaining noticed in Hollywood. “I remember the very first time ns heard Roseanne ,” claims Butler, that by then to be on to her second marriage, come Ken Zieger, a contract lawyer and composer (they divorce in 1999). “I was brushing my this in another room once I heard her on The this evening Show. And I came in the life room and told mine husband, ‘She just knocked the door under for me.’ ”


Butler relocated to Hollywood in 1992 after she was approached by Tom Werner and Marcy Carsey, who developed Roseanne, to star in her own sitcom. Grace Under Fire would carefully hew come the Roseanne template: Both filmed on the exact same CBS lot of in Studio City, and also both aired simultaneously on ABC. However where Barr — that was “always donate of me,” notes butler — mined working-class woes for laughs, butler went further, finding levity in life’s darkest corners.

“I’ll never forget when we were shooting the pilot in front of a live audience,” she recalls. “And among the jokes had actually to do with residential violence: ns said, ‘My husband was cleaning his fist, and also it went off.’ as soon as they laugh at that, that answered the inquiry of, ‘Would this fly?’ “

It flew — till it didn’t. Lorre, who produced the show, locked horns with Butler indigenous the get-go, arguing over little things prefer whether Grace have to be portrayed potty training she youngest son (Butler felt she should not and refused to shoot the scene). “I want it to it is in a love letter to all the single, working moms out there,” Lorre called Playboy in 1995. In the end, he determined “life is also short” and quit the present after the first season. “It should have actually been a joy,” that said, exasperated and defeated.

The display nonetheless connected with viewers. Premiering in the plum slot after Home Improvement, Grace to be the highest-rated new series on TV in its freshman outing, the 5th most-watched display of 1993-94 season. Critics adored Butler: In its review of she show, The new York Times said she “wields her southerly drawl prefer a lethal stiletto.” The display rose to No. 4 the complying with year.


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Butler in 1996 on The tonight Show, on which she first broke out throughout the Johnny Carson era.Margaret C. Norton/NBCU picture Bank/NBCUniversal via Getty Images

By its 4th season — which synchronized with Butler’s snowballing addiction — it plunged significantly to No. 45. It to be then that Butler gotten in her very first rehab stint, delaying the fifth-season premiere by numerous months come November 1997. Once she relapsed, lacking multiple tapings, ABC made decision to pull the plug. The aborted last season perfect at No. 68 in ratings. In spite of the chaos, servant still controlled to earn two golden Globe nominations for best performance by an actress in a TV collection comedy/musical — in 1995 and also 1997.

“I’ll certainly take the hit because that the crash and burn,” servant says, then adds: “I think a the majority of missteps enter things before they gain to that point on various people’s parts — yet I to be the star the the show, so I have to take the full-on. I’m awfully guilt-ridden for a gentile girl.”

Butler ultimately got sober in July 1998 — “I need to not have actually lived v 1998, honestly” — and also insists she has not touched drugs or alcohol since. The journey to recovery was an incredibly trying one, and wounds persist. “In sobriety, civilization make amends,” she says. “And my perform was especially long. I dubbed one details person, and she said, ‘Oh, you want to apologize? fine don’t bother. I forgive you. Yet there’s other I’ve constantly wanted come tell you: There’s nothing that special about you.’ I can tell exactly how long she’d been wait to phone call me that. I want to blurt out, ‘Yeah, people always go ~ above drug-fueled fatality rampages because they think they’re yes, really special.’ ”


Butler made around $25 million on Grace Under Fire, a happiness she piddled away on what she describes as “profligate” spending and financial carelessness. “I to be a small bit as well trusting with some world that operated for me, and I had actually a lot of things stolen,” she says. “That’s just stupid on mine part, not to have insurance because that those things. And to loan and also give a the majority of money away. Ns really simply felt for this reason guilty for having it — I almost couldn’t eliminate it quick enough.”

As eviscerating together she can be through a one-liner, Butler always has booked the harshest put-downs for herself. She totally realizes just how some human being never will certainly sympathize v her situation. “I’m no the only one in this boat,” she says. “Most civilization that room in it never had actually the methods I did. It doesn’t yes, really lessen mine self-loathing or fear around it, but I do realize that.”

Finding post-Grace gigs verified elusive. There was the daytime panel show that never pertained to fruition (getting co-hosts to occupational with Butler came to be an insurmountable challenge) and a close-but-no-cigar reboot that the 1970s detective show McCloud, in i m sorry she was collection to beat the location character. “ Doug Herzog to be hiring me for that,” she says. “Then someone brand-new who did not care for me took end the network. You’re not going to be everybody’s cup of noþeles — and I assumption: v that could go dual for me.”

During the beforehand 2000s, Butler determined to leave Hollywood — and the looming hazard of a relapse — and also return come Georgia, where her three sisters (a fourth has died) still live. Her an option of house turned the end to be less than ideal: “I relocated to wherein the Ku Klux Klan has actually meth labs, basically. … the was around as grim as .” that was around that time the she started emerging a profound attachment to animals. “At 40, I ended up being one the those crazy women that starts come rescue every little thing — dogs, cats and also especially horses,” she says. “Riding them, saving them, brushing them, hanging out with them. I felt choose an 11-year-old girl.”

For a while, she had been counting on revenue native a Grace Under Fire DVD deal — what she thought would amount to $1 million total. The deal never transpired. Broke and also her farm foreclosed upon, Butler went back to L.A. About 10 years ago to do a walk at a comeback, bringing three cats and four dogs (only one elderly Rat Terrier called Kino still survives). “If you’ve ever driven 2,500 miles v a litter box in your truck — that’s a trip,” she says.

Butler has actually worked because then — and also in part high-profile projects. She play an adoptive mom to Aja Naomi King’s character on ABC’s How to obtain Away with Murder in 2016; showed up on the HBO series The Leftovers; had actually a recurring duty on season nine of AMC’s The wade Dead; and most freshly played the mommy of Reese Witherspoon’s character on apologize TV+’s The Morning Show.


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Since returning to L.A., butler has discovered some work on How to acquire Away v Murder.Richard Cartwright/Walt Disney television via Getty Images

Nowadays, her call on Hollywood set is a great one. “Brett come in to check out for part FBI agent the was a one-off character,” recalls Leftovers showrunner Damon Lindelof. “She made every these really amazing choices. When an actor is on a show like Grace Under Fire, friend don’t really watch them as an actor — they’re playing a heightened version of themselves. However in her read, she gave a real performance. She was so good that ns was usually like, ‘We’ve got to do something really cool for her.’ ” Lindelof ended up writing her a new, much larger part on the apocalyptic sci-fi series. She play Sandy, the gatekeeper that a tent city in Texas that pays Christopher Eccleston’s character $600 to beat her kid with an oar. Says Lindelof, “She came in and also crushed it.”


But those infrequent TV appearances execute not pay like Grace Under Fire walk — not even close. Butler says she earns a bit over a guild minimum, often $5,000 because that a one-day shoot. Even her many dependable gig — she filmed 33 episodes of Anger Management — only covered her “cost-of-living” expenses, which consists of $2,500 rent for the one-bedroom apartment she shares with her 3 pets (she won’t surname the area but calls the “one that the beige-ist parts of L.A. — where they love Trump yet won’t talk about it”) and ongoing treatment for the 19-year-old mare she left ago in Georgia, a Tennessee Walker called Tommie. “It appears silly offered the pinch I’m in, however a horse that old could become dog food, and also I don’t desire that come happen,” she says.

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It was in 2019, ~ she had wrapped her job-related on The walking Dead and began The Morning Show, that Butler to be dealt yet an additional blow: a bout that depression unlike any type of she had faced before. “This stuff operation in my family,” she explains. “My dad to be an untreated bipolar alcoholic, and stuff very first started popping up because that me as soon as I was about 50.”

She likens the episode to a “monster the moved into my house.” amongst its symptoms were suicidal ideations (“It’s a drag to wake up up and go, ‘Oh … Damn. I woke up’ “) and agoraphobia — which practically too conveniently synchronized with COVID-19 lockdowns. “The ceiling of the pandemic was something i hid behind,” she says. “I let the cover my own insecurities or failings. Yet it’s time come come out of it.”

The past few years have actually been an unbelievably unstable stretch for Butler. But, together she points out, they’ve been difficult for everyone. And while she may be down, she’s not out. As Lindelof put it, “We love comeback stories in this town.”

A comeback for Butler most likely won’t come in the type of an additional sitcom, talk present or even in a collection where she communes through the dearly departed. Much more likely is a long-delayed return to stand-up. The brand-new routine can unpack just how her careerlong preoccupation through finding light in life’s darkest corners had actually finally recorded up v her, till all that remained was the darkness. “I’d require a couple of months to obtain it done,” she claims of creating such a project. “Yeah, I’d say I could work under a 90-day gun.”

There are signs that the clouds have begun to part. Most notably, Butler recently pulled the end a notebook and also began jotting under jokes — longhand, together she go in the early on days of she career — in anticipation that a go back to stand-up. “I couldn’t psychic the critical time I’d excellent that,” she says. “I to be so grateful. That was favor something i did in ~ the beginning, once there was no roof on my dreams.”

This story an initial appeared in the Aug. 18 worry of The Hollywood Reporter magazine. Click below to subscribe.